#and its just so exhausting having to wake up so fucking early & pay sm money everyday just to get there
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#ive come to realize a little too late that going the internship route wasnt the best solution to my problem#im going to be paying around $60 per day in uber rides to get to & from work#yesterday my bff had to take me bc i couldnt find any kind of transportation to our neighboring city where the site is for this week#and today a coworker is taking me but im not super happy about that either bc hes going out of his way to pick me up#apparently only one person from the company lives in my city but hes not working on this project#and everyone else lives spread around my neighboring state#and its just so exhausting having to wake up so fucking early & pay sm money everyday just to get there#and just to have to sit around like an eyesore my first day bc there was nothing for me to do#and i regret not just retaking the stupid class where i could just easily walk to school#and spruce up my skills even if i had to feel scrutinized by the prof & deal w my depression bc either way im going to be depressed all the#fucking time & i wouldnt have to wake so early w little sleep & having to buy shit like hiking boots & other items so i can work#more comfortably#its just so much money being spent when i couldve just taken the class & had to uber to my driving lessons at the end of this month at most#and i practically spent every moment that i was home crying yesterday in the morning & then immediately when i got back home#and I just wish i hadnt been plagued by the fact that i didnt want my m*m to know i hadnt graduated#and that i got an internship for professional experience and not bc i needed it to take the place of a class i failed#and in the end i just wish I hadn't failed that fucking class so i wouldnt have to be dealing with this rn#im just so fuckijg tired of living like this#realized this all too fucking late#i shouldnt have settled for the internship & taken the stupid class#why did i think it was a good idea to spend money everyday just to get to work#i dont want to do this i really dont
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